Redefine communication
We all like to believe we’re good at communicating. After all, we do it every day. But how many of us actually challenge that assumption and deliberately practice the skill?
Since 2017, I’ve been actively studying the art of communication through books, podcasts, research, and public speaking. My biggest takeaway is this: no one is ever truly excellent at communicating. There are simply too many variables for any message to be transmitted perfectly from one mind to another.
Effective communication requires us to pay attention to countless details on our side: the language we choose, our tone, volume, inflexion, body language, eye contact, and the context of the topic itself. Many of these elements are within our control.
But then there’s the other person.
We must also try to understand their background, education level, personality, emotional triggers, upbringing, and even what their body language might signal in that moment. All of these factors introduce opportunities for misinterpretation.
In my own daily interactions, I’m often perceived as abrupt, polite, grumpy, or happy, sometimes all at once, depending on who’s receiving my words. This isn’t always a reflection of whether I’m a good or bad communicator. It’s a reflection of how the message was filtered through the other person’s unique lens.
To truly improve at communication, we first need deep self-awareness. Only then can we learn to read different personality types and better understand others on both a social and intellectual level.
So how should we redefine communication?
As an engineer, I’ve found that the most powerful approach is to start with genuine empathy and value creation. When people feel you truly understand them and care about their perspective, they become far more open to real dialogue.
“Communication doesn’t always have to feel comfortable. What matters most is that both parties are willing to engage openly, even when they disagree. That level of openness requires patience, humility, and consistent practice.” - N.Coles
